If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?
1 John 4:20 NLT
John is not vague here. He is precise, confrontational, and unapologetic. If you say you love God but hate a fellow believer, he says your claim is false. Not immature. Not underdeveloped. False.
This verse is not aimed at unbelievers. It is aimed at the ekklesia — the called-out ones. The people who claim to belong to God. The people who say they follow Jesus. It is aimed at us.
God is not exposing us to shame us. He is illuminating the gap between what we claim and what we live so He can call us higher.
“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and yet he hates his brother or sister, he is a liar…”
(1 John 4:20, NASB2020)
John’s logic is simple: if you cannot love the people you can see, you do not get to claim love for the God you cannot see.
This isn’t about tone or temperament. It’s about witness.
In the Kingdom of God, actions speak louder than words because actions testify. Behavior gives evidence. Love is not just something you feel or confess — it is something that can be seen, measured, and witnessed.
Love for God is not proven by what you say in worship. It is proven by how you treat people when it costs you something.
Love for God isn’t proven by words. It’s proven by the witness of your life.
This isn’t condemnation. It’s elevation. God is calling us to a higher standard of love because He is forming us into His likeness.
A Prophetic Reality: God Is Preparing a People, Not Just a Platform
God is dealing with our hearts now so that we will resemble Him. He is not just cleaning up our behavior. He is aligning our inner life with His nature.
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: the lost are more ready to come in than the Church is ready to receive them.
We have prayed for harvest. We have cried out for revival. We have asked for an outpouring.
But God is answering with heart surgery.
Why?
Because wounded, divided, bitter, self-protective believers cannot steward a flood of broken, confused, traumatized people without reproducing more damage.
God is not just growing the Church. He is purifying the Church.
Not to shame her. Not to shrink her. But to prepare her.
“Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.”
(Ephesians 5:25–26, NIV)
This is not cosmetic cleanup. This is end-time preparation.
God is forming a people whose love is not theoretical, tribal, or conditional. He is raising up a Church whose love looks like Jesus in the flesh.
Because in the last days, love is not a side virtue. It is survival equipment.
“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.”
(Matthew 24:12, NIV)
God is warming hearts now so they won’t freeze later. He is stretching our capacity to love now so we won’t collapse under the weight of the harvest later. He is dealing with offense now so we won’t bleed on broken people later.
This is not delay. This is deployment prep.
What John Means by “Hate”
John is not talking about irritation, personality clashes, or honest disagreement. In Scripture, hate is not just an emotion. It is a settled posture of the heart that shows up in behavior.
Biblically, hate looks like this:
- Withholding love when love is needed
- Nurturing resentment instead of pursuing reconciliation
- Treating someone as disposable rather than redeemable
- Refusing mercy when you have received mercy
- Celebrating their failure or secretly wishing them harm
- Speaking about them with contempt rather than compassion
- Cutting them off without prayer, process, or godly boundaries
“Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart.”
(1 John 3:15, NLT)
That’s not exaggeration. That’s diagnosis.
So when John says “hate,” he means: a settled posture of relational withdrawal, contempt, or indifference toward another believer that contradicts the love of Christ — and leaves a visible trail in how you treat them.
You don’t have to feel angry to be guilty of this. You can feel numb. You can feel “done.” You can feel justified.
If you recognize yourself here, that’s not a dead end. That’s a doorway. God is showing you the gap because He intends to close it.
Bottom line: in 1 John 4:20, hate = love withheld — and love withheld always leaves evidence.
Disciples Love Like Jesus — That’s the Mark
Jesus makes love the test of discipleship, not theology, gifting, or influence.
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
(John 13:35, NLT)
Not your doctrine. Not your anointing. Not your platform. Your love.
Jesus doesn’t say love is something people should assume. He says love is something people should see.
Love is not an optional add-on to Christianity. It is the identifying mark — the public witness — of it.
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved Me.”
(John 15:9, NLT)
Disciples love like Jesus because disciples learn their life from Jesus.
Jesus doesn’t lower the standard to match our wounds. He heals our wounds so we can rise to His standard.
Mature Disciples Resemble Their Parentage
If God is your Father and Jesus is your pattern, your life should begin to resemble your lineage.
“Anyone who claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did.”
(1 John 2:6, NIV)
“So imitate God, as beloved children.”
(Ephesians 5:1, NLT)
That’s not perfection. It’s direction.
Mature disciples don’t just talk like Jesus. They start to love like Jesus. They forgive when it costs. They stay gentle when they’re right. They hold truth without crushing people. They set boundaries without hardening their hearts.
That’s not weakness. That’s family resemblance.
God is not just correcting our behavior. He is calling us into our true identity.
Practical Igniter Move
Pick one relationship where love has cooled.
- Name the person God brings to mind.
- Pray honestly: “God, show me where love has leaked out of my life.”
- Take one concrete step this week: a kind text, an honest apology, an act of service, or a boundary stated without heat.
This isn’t about fixing everything at once. It’s about responding to a higher call with one obedient step.
Love doesn’t have to be loud. It has to be visible.
Because you can’t love a God you can’t see while refusing to show love to the people you see every day and still call that Christianity.
The same God who reveals the gap is the God who empowers your growth.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for loving me enough to show me the gap between what I say and how I live. Thank You for not lowering Your standard, but for raising my capacity to meet it.
Search my heart and expose anything in me that looks like love withheld, contempt disguised as wisdom, or distance justified as discernment. Where I have grown cold, warm me again. Where I have grown hard, soften me again. Move me from words into embodied, obedient love.
Thank You that You are preparing me, not punishing me. Thank You that You are faithful to finish what You start in me.
Make my life look like my lineage. Form in me the family resemblance of Jesus. Let my love become visible proof of my love for You.
I choose obedience over excuses. I choose love over comfort. I choose resemblance over reputation.
In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
1 John 3:18 NLT
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